Showcase Wednesday: Guest Post – Wedding Party Shake-up!
Written by Sara on March 10, 2010 – 9:00 am -Hello readers! I’ve asked my dear friend Luke (film blogger extraordinaire) to write a post about his upcoming nuptials, and how uniformity within a wedding party is seriously overrated. Enjoy!
Luke here from Journalistic Skepticism. The lovely Sara asked me to write a little bit about my own tumultuous wedding planning experience. But I exaggerate – it’s actually been a relatively eye-opening learning experience. And before you become too confuddled, let me clear things up – yes, it is possible for a male to plan a wedding. (Well, just barely at least.)
We’ve set a date for August 14, 2010 (based almost entirely on the economic sensibility of a late-summer wedding), and it will take place in Minneapolis, so hopefully the snow will have disappeared by then. Though we’re currently living in Sioux Falls and plan to move out to the East Coast in June, we chose a location like Minneapolis to centralize our guests, who range from mostly Midwesterners to some out-of-staters. Though neither of us are originally from Minneapolis, it’s a major city with more options in terms of site choices, and it’s a familiar, easy-to-get-to locale for our guests in neighboring states.
For our wedding my fiancé and I found ourselves in a predicament. Though we were ready to name several people to be a part of our wedding party, when it came to traditionalism we faced a problem – our subset of friends included far more females than males. In fact, our final tally of attendants includes two men and – count ‘em – 10 women. When choosing our party, we opted for a mix of mostly college friends, siblings, and high school friends. And with such a large core wedding party, it became easy to bestow some of the other ceremony functions on others, though we haven’t entirely filled every other role. One of our as-yet-undecided bits is whether or not to have ushers. Our ceremony count is around 100, so I ask you: are ushers really necessary?
But I digress. In lieu of the boy-girl pairs of the typical wedding, we opted for mix-and-match gender aisle-walking companions. This shake-up also involved coining some new terms for our crew – groomsmaids and best women, since our best men ended up being some lady friends of ours. And in order to break up the uniformity of having the many groomsmaids dressing identically, we opted for a single color scheme with three different dress options, a feature that I know many of the wedding party members greatly appreciated. Because, let’s face it – everyone is built differently, so not every design is going to be suitable. So to come to terms with the fact that these ladies were buying the dresses for keeps, why not opt for something they actually enjoy?
Our chosen groomsmaid attire
When planning a wedding, perhaps seamless traditionalism is your number-one concern. But for the sake of picking the best possible wedding party, there’s something to be said for being a little gender-blind and breaking just a couple rules.
A big thank you to Luke for shedding some insight on how to beautifully break down the Wedding Industrial Complex’s so-called “rules.” I can’t wait to see the fruits of your efforts, Luke!
[Image credit: David's Bridal]
Tags: best women, David's Bridal, groomsmaids, Journalistic Skepticism, Minneapolis, mix-and-match bridesmaid dresses, ushers, Wedding Industrial Complex
Posted in Fashion, Inspiration & Insight, Weddings | Comments Off
Latest Musings
Written by Sara on October 19, 2009 – 9:49 am -Good Monday morning to you all!
First of all, I can’t even believe that this template is FREE for download, but click over here at Ruffled for a free printable notecard & envelope template; this is too gorgeous not to use! (Can anyone say invitations for a rehearsal dinner or a gift-opening brunch?!) Plus, the template is designed in our wedding colors!
J and I have been seriously fighting against the Wedding Industrial Complex (WIC) lately, and that has caused some pretty hefty friction in our relationship as well. I know that it’s “normal” for couples to bump heads while planning a wedding, but I think that I have really been sucked into the WIC lately.
While J and I stated at the beginning that we wanted our wedding to be cost-effective (i.e. we didn’t want to go into debt for one day in our lives), I realized that I’ve been operating under the assumption that “everything would work itself out” in terms of finances, and if a snapshot of our last week is any evidence of that (to summarize: life changes quickly), I realize that I am seriously wrong.
That being said, J and I haven’t spent one dime…yet. (Well, that’s not entirely true; I purchased 12 brooches (mostly gold) from an antique store in Lincoln, NE, this summer for a measly $30.o0 (a steal, really!)). So, in spirit of what J and I originally envisioned for our wedding day, today marks the day that I’m rethinking a lot of things.
First off, the guest list. While from the beginning I said that I wanted a small wedding, the guest list has sort of ballooned into a 150+ party, and J and I have serious issues about footing the bill to accommodate that many guests. While we love all of our family and friends, we desperately want to pare down the guest list and only invite those family members and friends who have watched us grow in love and who we couldn’t imagine being without on such an important day.
So, our new target number: no more than 80 guests. I’m expecting the process of cutting down the list to be rather painful, but liberating at the same time.
Second, the venue: I emailed my contact at the Washington Pavilion in Sioux Falls this morning to gauge the availability (and pricing structure) of a smaller space within the museum. The Pavilion is full of beautiful, historical spaces, and I very much would like to take advantage of all they have to offer (staffed bar, indoor venue, free parking, etc). J and I also plan to get a quote for renting a tent that can accommodate 80 people, for price comparisons. Since my Dad’s company would be able to provide us with chairs and tables at minimal or no cost, we would certainly save funds there by not having to rent them from a third-party.
Third, the dress: After many, many conversations about the importance of the dress to me, I hope that J is finally beginning to understand that for me, the wedding gown embodies all that I’ve been waiting my life for. I’ve never worn a garter (not even to Prom) intentionally because I wanted to save that for my wedding day. I’ve had two Prom dresses that were both found on clearance, and while these dresses were beautiful, I feel like I’ve been waiting my whole life to have a gown that makes me feel like a princess. I am beginning to understand that spending ridiculous amounts of money on a gown I’ll wear once is very, very silly and rather selfish in the grand scheme of things, but at the same time, I’m recognizing that my desire to feel like a bride on my wedding day is valid and deserved. So, the quest for an affordable but beautiful vintage-inspired gown continues next weekend, as I head to Sioux City’s Happily Ever After salon with my Mom and…my Dad! I’m very excited that he’s coming along.
Last, pre-marital counseling: Especially after this past week’s struggles, J and I are realizing the importance and utter necessity of pre-marital counseling. While we try very hard to communicate with each other in an open and clear manner, we are both very stubborn and passionate individuals, which makes coming to terms with a decision very difficult. We’re very anxious to begin this process, and plan to begin investigating what opportunities are available to us.
I hope that my renewed vision and focus on creating the wedding of our dreams on an affordable budget will prove fruitful in our discussions with our families and in my discussions with J.
Tags: Happily Ever After, Ruffled, Washington Pavilion, Wedding Industrial Complex
Posted in Budget Weddings, Downloads, Inspiration & Insight, Our Wedding | Comments Off
Reception Venue Woes
Written by Sara on August 26, 2009 – 5:45 pm -While J and I initially wanted a fall 2010 wedding, I have recently decided to test my luck at getting into graduate school for the fall of 2010 (I’d love to get an MFA in Creative Writing – Creative Nonfiction). For this reason, J and I have been tossing around the idea of a summer 2010 wedding.
A few weeks ago, I was absolutely against the prospect of a summertime wedding for two main reasons: 1) I hate hate HATE being hot, and if I am going to be in a wedding dress, the last thing I want to be is hot; and 2) I know that weddings are (generally) more expensive in the summer, because everyone wants to get married then.
But now, J and I have discussed how important it is that I am able to focus on school and school alone, should I get accepted into a creative writing program; basically, I don’t want to have to worry about planning a wedding that’s meaningful and special while working my tail off in school. My biggest fear is that if we do wait until the summer of 2011 to get married that my lack of time to devote to planning will force us into a cookie-cutter, Wedding Industrial Complex-like wedding event, and we both would absolutely hate that.
So, here’s the “woes” part of this post: Finding a reception venue in the summertime is nearly impossible, especially when you’re looking for a site less than 1.5 years ahead of time.
We live in South Dakota, so while we have prairies, farms and parks, reception venues are in short supply in comparison to a bigger city. I’m not crazy about getting married outside, because of the obvious – I don’t want to have to worry about weather – so that, again, limits us.
My first choice for a reception venue: the Museum of Visual Materials in downtown Sioux Falls, SD.
The Museum rents for $650, and they have all of the tables, chairs and dinnerware on site for rent as well. The space is a converted warehouse building with hardwood floors and exposed beams, and I just LOVE the idea of having my wedding reception there. Another reason to love the space? It’s an LEED-certified green building, which means the building runs on geo-thermal heating and cooling, and also utilizes solar panel energy!
The problem (or, as I’m trying to see it, the opportunity): No availability in June, and only Fridays are left in July. To all of you brides out there: have you ever considered a Friday wedding? How’d you pull it off? Did your guests complain about having to take work off to attend your ceremony?
My second choice, and a more expensive one at that: the Old Courthouse Museum in downtown Sioux Falls.
This space is so beautiful, but J and I are struggling with a few things: 1) the space charges almost twice what we’re willing to pay for a space; 2) we’re required to jump through hoops both to rent the space and to serve alcohol to our guests; and 3) the largest section of the Museum holds 140 people, which we feel is just a little small for the number of guests we’d like to invite.
However, there is one major plus to renting this space, apart from the sheer beauty of the Museum’s architecture: the Old Courthouse Museum is still available on 2 Saturdays in July.
For all of you readers out there, what would you do? Would you have your wedding on a Friday and save money on the reception space, or would you pay a more money and sacrifice some of the guest list to have your wedding on a Saturday?
[Note: Photos taken from Museum web sites, as linked above.]
Tags: Creative Nonfiction, Creative Writing, Downtown Sioux Falls, MFA, Museum of Visual Materials, Old Courthouse Museum, South Dakota, Summer Wedding, Wedding Industrial Complex
Posted in Budget Weddings, Our Wedding, Weddings | Comments Off
Tuesday Fanblog: A Practical Wedding
Written by Sara on August 26, 2009 – 12:50 pm -
I know, I know: it’s Wednesday. But J had two softball games last night (the advent of fall ball), and the night got away from me. So, as a treat, you’ll get not one, but two blog posts from me today!
This week’s fanblog goes out to Meg of A Practical Wedding. I’m always a fan of brides pushing against the Wedding Industrial Complex (the big, bad societal creation that forces brides to believe in monogrammed reception napkins and the like), and Meg and her guy created their own perfect day on their own terms. In fact, Meg’s a newlywed; she and her hubby just tied the knot on August 9, 2009!
For a glimpse at Meg’s wedding, page through her last few posts on A Practical Wedding. It’s evident from her writing that Meg has a confidence about her in creating a wedding day that she will remember for a lifetime, despite what society may say she “needs” to have for a wedding to be memorable. Plus, her wedding was BEAUTIFUL!
I feel so inspired to have found this blog so early in my wedding planning; there’s nothing better than to find another soul in the world who doesn’t want their wedding to be wasteful and commercial! Many blessings to you and your new hubby, Meg!
Click here to check out A Practical Wedding.
[Note: Photo obtained from A Practical Wedding blog; photo credit: One Love Photo.]
Tags: A Practical Wedding, Wedding Industrial Complex
Posted in Budget Weddings, Inspiration & Insight, Weddings | Comments Off